Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Not Everyone Should Be Saved

At the request of my friend Scott:

Two weekends ago, some of my friends got together in the Petoskey area when a couple of them were kind enough to open their house to us. We decided to spend part of the evening in downtown Petoskey so that the dairy-lovers amongst us could purchase and consume a dairy product that is mixed with flavorings and sugar (iced cream or something like that) and frozen. Petoskey is located on a bay that feeds directly into Lake Michigan, so after we consumed the frozen dairy treat, we went for a walk along the shore and out onto some of the peers and other cement outcroppings.

The night was getting late and we decided to head out on one more cement outcropping with a small lighthouse on it. We sat and talked there for awhile, then decided to make our way back. There was also a couple near the lighthouse, and at the same time we decided it was time to leave, the guy was somehow compelled to jump into the bay. The weather was warm so it didn't seem like a terrible idea at the time, until we heard an "Oh Crap" emerging from the waters.

As it turns out, the guy was a complete and utter moron and jumped into the water with both his cell phone and his cigarettes in his shorts pockets, which, I have to assume, have not fully recovered to this day. It is exactly situations like these that make me question the validity of the much-respected Survival of the Fittest theory of evolution. All life is precious, but some life is...less precious. I may not agree with this guy's decision to jump into the water with easily-damaged things in his pockets, but I will defend to my dying day his right to be an idiot (as long as he is paying taxes to the state).


Dave said...

Haha great one Ken, didn't the girl jump in as well with her wallet or something? That guy was an idiot.

Mo said...

Forget the cell phone and cigs, how about the fact that he jumped into dark waters surrounded by rocks. That is what really makes him an idiot.

Daniel J. said...

What's with you and taxes man? I had no idea you were so interested in taxes. They are boring and lame and meant for boring and lame people not peoples like you's and me's. People more like Steve. Just kidding Steve, you were always my favorite Aga-C. No offense to all the great Aga-C's out there. Ironically, I jumped into a sandbar in the Gulf of Mexico two days ago with my wallet and lighter in pocket. I believe because I had already drank about 8 beers and 10 shots of kowalski kowality stuff that I had reason enough to be a jackass. You cannot take yourself too seriously ever. Every day should be your last in theory, and you should seriously live it as if this were so. As it could be, God Forbid. I have to say God Forbid because I'm Italian. I love how us Italians feign respect so often. Or more trivialize respect. Adio.