Face-Punching Clarification

After my classic article "Why I'd Like to Punch that Guy in My Neighborhood in the Face", I have received some pretty hilarious feedback, and I also think that a large portion of the message was either poorly communicated by myself or poorly received by those reading it. Of course for the time being I will assume the latter, but that is open to debate.

There are a couple things I would like clarify regarding this post. First, I have never punched anyone in the face (or anywhere else for that matter), nor has anyone punched me in the face. In fact, I am a strong anti-violence advocate. Furthermore, if I were to punch someone in the face, there is a good chance that there would be some degree of face-punching retribution, and I need to keep my Polish nose as straight as a whistle (which is a weird statement because most whistles are kind of oddly shaped). I just can't risk the damages. I had to clarify this because my future mother-in-law (who is a very peaceful woman) became concerned that her daughter was engaged to some sort of face-punching maniac. It is really more the sentiment of displeasure I was going for here...

Second, I have no desire to "rip off someone's face" - as was also somehow misinterpreted. I'm not entirely sure where the miscommunication came from there. Ripping someone's face off is a pretty extreme response, if even in jest. Just writing the phrase makes me a bit uncomfortable - kind of like the first time I ripped off someone's face. So to summarize - no face punching, no face ripping off.

Finally, to boil down my entire prior series of paragraphs into one paragraph, I bear no ill-will or animus toward anyone who chooses to purchase and drive a new or used vehicle from any manufacturer from any area of the globe. It is your money, and you are free to buy anything that you like. BUT, and this is the whole point here, I, as one individual, strongly feel that if you live in Michigan and you want to continue to live your life in a prosperous and successful Michigan, you have a responsibility to add GM, Ford, or Chrysler products to your list for consideration when you are thinking of opening the wallet for a vehicle. If you do not even consider these cars during the purchase process, there is absolutely no way that these companies can convince you that the quality, design, and fun-factor have made them deserving to be on your short list.

Now I need to go punch a puppy in the face.