Boy I Suck

$1 isn't much of an incentive for anything, but holy cow, I had no idea I was even more insignificant than I originally assumed. That is saying quite a bit, because it would be difficult to place myself any lower on any sort of totem poll where I subjectively rank my value. Yesterday, I offered 1 free U.S. dollar to anyone who left a comment on my blog. I received six responses - 2 from my dad, two from my sister-in-law-in-law, one from my eventual mother-in-law, and one from a very loyal reader and commenter named Dan A. The only one who expressed any interest in the dollar was my future mother-in-law, and she is welcome to the riches I offered. It is a very difficult economy out there, and I thought at least someone would have some interest in taking hold of a free buck. You win, humility. I'm not too personally offended, hurt, or upset about this misadventure, but it is part of the process of humanizing me to you. Otherwise, you would think that my wit and outstanding knowledge of terrible references places me on a superhuman level well above your understanding of the human consciousness.

Speaking of Dan A., I wanted to again specially thank him for so consistently reading and commenting. He also sometimes advertises on my behalf with no particular benefit to him on Facebook and MySpace. Because of the awesome combined power of alphabetization and uncreative seating assignments, Dan's sister sat behind me in every single class for my middle school experience. It is satisfying to know that the English alphabet has landed me a supporter. When the alphabet was being invented, I recommended zqxwcevrmpnobtiuylaksjdhfg, but I lost the bid. In this instance, she probably still would have been seated behind me, but there would have been a chance that she would have been a row over. Perhaps in an effort to increase readership, I can return to middle school and have a new girl sit behind me in every class and then have her brother become a reader. Genius.