Wednesday, July 1, 2009

You Win This One, Monica

Last week, Monica Conyers went on her local public access television show and declared, in only the way that a crazy person can, "And so I say to all of the people out there if you’re not praying for me, then you’re just adding to the problem." At first, I thought this woman is even more crazy than I could have possibly conceived. If I'm not praying for one of the worst people in the state of Michigan then I'm adding to the problem? How can that be?

And so on Monday I wrote about my glee in her guilty plea and resignation, and I was most certainly not praying for Monica Conyers. I mean, really, that would make me a complete crazy person. Then, God struck.

Yesterday morning through this moment, I have magically been stricken with some sort of ailment that makes me feel not as well as I normally feel. My head aches, my spine is a little itchy - which is super weird - my forehead is slightly warmer than usual, and most strange to me, I'm not hungry at all. When I'm not hungry, you know there is some sort of strange and dangerous black magic going on there. There is no other explanation - Monica Conyers actually has the ear of God and by not praying for her, I am being punished.


c_agacinski said...

Hope you'll be feeling better soon.

Actually, you can pray for someone like Monica Conyers very easily and without compromising your views. Just pray that God will show her the evil of her ways and set her on the right path. Currently, I'm praying for people who are unemployed, suffering from swine flu, or are ill with terminal "Republicanism" (Rush Limbaugh and his ilk made me really mad one day.)

Gail said...

Jeff was reading and told me you were sick. I brought that to you all the way from MN. You're welcome!

Daniel J. said...

Sounds like symptoms of meningitis especially with the spine itching (probably from increased blood flow around the spine caused from excess cerebrospinal fluid which is known to happen in certain types of meningitis). This would also possibly cause headaches because your brain is directly connected to your spine. Although, headaches are onset symptoms for so many health issues including headaches. As for the lack of hunger, I recall there can be nausea. I'm going to look this up now that I am curious, and recomment with some more details to look for.

Daniel J. said...

Ok, I can substantiate my first comments predictions because my memory served me well to remember some of the symptoms. I found out that the onset of symptoms is typically 7 to 10 days. Do you experience any neck stiffness or photophobia (intolerance to bright light)? The most common form is viral or aseptic meningitis which is pretty benign. Bacterial meningitis, however, is pretty serious. I can't find any way to decipher between the two for now, but my sources say they are often the same. Also, I realize that these symptoms are very similar to flu-like symptoms. Do not fret about the swine flu because it is one of the most benign strains of all the flus. H1N1 has only killed a few people in the US who were already severely immuno-compromised. It is also finally public that it was bio-engineered and not a mutated form. This could be serious because bio-engineered virus' can be created to spread and mutate much quicker than naturally. I think this accounts for the rapid and broad spread of swine flu; however, I don't trust the CDC numbers at all for many reasons I won't go into. My unprofessional prognosis is that you have the flu (or at least I hope that's all). Remember, if the symptoms persist for 7 to 10 days then you should get checked out.