Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Greater Travesty

As I engaged in general snacking yesterday, I reached into our massive family bag of "Fruit and Nut" mix from CostCo, and pulled my hand out largely filled with a combination of peanuts and almonds. There are some specific occasions when I very much enjoy peanuts and almonds, but this event reminded me of another very similar disappointment experienced by many when they try to snack on another nut+something mixture - specifically, trail mix. This got me to thinking about which is the greater snacking travesty - not enough M&Ms or chocolate chips in trail mix or too many nuts in general in Fruit and Nut mix.

There is a minority of the population who feel that nothing chocolate whatsoever belongs anywhere near trail mix, and to those people I say I never want you anywhere near my very important and pertinent blog ever again. If you are staunchly anti chocolate in your trail mix opinion, I fear you are not good people and we don't want your kind around these parts.

Both of these imbalanced proportions are very upsetting for the happy snacker. The real sinner here is the nut lobby and their strong influence over whoever it is responsible for combining nuts with other goodies. We all know the real reason that we eat these two types of mixes - the not nuts. Really what we want is 95% other stuff, 5% nuttiness. You may be thinking that I may as well go ahead and make my own snack mix variant based on purchasing foods in bulk and combining these items to my liking, but then you clearly do not know me and my preference for complaining over finding incredibly easy and workable solutions. In the end, I just don't think it is possible to say which of these situations is worse because they are both pretty terrible. Maybe the better question is why I spent any time writing about this and, more importantly, why you spent time reading it. I think it is because we are all united in our stance against misproportioned foods. Furthermore, nuts are surprisingly high in calorie and low in deliciousness. We are the Lobby for Eating Smaller Nut Units To Snack (L. E. S. N. U. T. S.)


Ken said...

I'm not tied to the name Lobby for Eating Smaller Nut Units To Snack, but I would like to keep the letters L.E.S.N.U.T.S.

If you have any suggestions, please submit them and we may just be able to change the name of this imaginary special interest group.

Dan Anderson said...

This cause needs a logo.

Daniel J. said...

I advocate this blogging with:
L.E.S.S.G.U.M.E.S. The Liberation of Eating Solid Soil-Grown Units of Mass-Edible Snacks
I didn't use L.E.S.N.U.T.S. because I did not want to impose on your original creation.