Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Official Fame Magnet

Alright world, this is getting ridiculous. I don't think you can make it any more clear - famous people like to be near me and spend some amount of time in my presence. I don't need you to send me any more subtle messages. TMZ is considering opening up a bureau right here in Royal Oak because of all of the famous people that just "happen" to find themselves near me.

Saturday night was the bachelor party, which I wrote a tiny bit about in my last post. This isn't about that, but here are the best two quotes of the night:

"Those aren't the free kind of girls" - Dave G.
"What happens at a bachelor party stays at a bachelor party...except herpes" - Steve

Congratulations for those fine lines, gentlemen. After a night of hanging out in downtown Detroit (where I seriously felt completely safe roving around the downtown streets), the bunch of us made our way to Lafayette Coney (seriously Firefox, you don't take coney?) Island. I wasn't hungry from the gigantic dinner from earlier in the evening and all of the free (to me) OH molecules that were provided to me that night, but most of the guys were in the mood for some late-night dining. We took our seats at the long center table down the middle of Lafayette, and for some reason started talking about famous people. Dave said "you mean like Jerome Bettis, who is buying some food right now?" Needless to say, I was a little confused. It was 2:15 in the morning and we were sitting in a Coney Island in downtown Detroit. As it turns out, Jerome Bettis was, in fact, buying some food from Lafayette with a small posse of approximately two individuals. Jerome-freaking-Bettis. By the time my brain figured out what was going on, Jerome was making his way to his car. Steve and I got up and tried to make it over to him to say hi, but we started a little too late and he was on his way.

What no one else saw, though, was the secret smile that Jerome shot me and his implicit recognition of all the hard work I put into the blog. Mr. Bettis, you have, just barely, supplanted Justin Verlander as my most famous best friend. You're a Detroit guy who has always supported the city, now if you could just buy me a coney that would be even better. I mean, you won a Super Bowl. Spread the hot dog love.

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