A Disturbing Trend

Life is incredibly busy these days, and I will most definitely hit on this period of busy at a future point. There are more than a few life changes taking place. You don't care.

I often cart many things around in my car. Family, friends, furniture, my big huge book of CDs that is incredibly obsolete, various pieces of paper that I have neglected to throw away, emergency blankets in my trunk, samurai swords, and pens. Every once in awhile, I am in a position where I need to transport a pet. I like having the dogs in the car. They make for good buddies and only every so often do they complain about my selection of in-car entertainment. Sometimes I get dog boogers all over my windows, but that is part of the small price to pay for pet ownership. Recently, though, I've noticed more and more of something that makes me quite uncomfortable out on the road with people and their pets in the car. These morons have their pets on their laps. On their laps while their driving with the dog heads out of the driver-side window.

This is a recipe for disaster, and is also incredibly weird. Can you not separate yourself from your dog for the brief period of a car ride? If you're a dude, aren't you afraid that the dog is going to step into your crotch, thereby rendering your ability to break, gas, and steer futile. If you're not dude, aren't you afraid of the exact same thing? My dogs are my buddies and I love them immensely, but I also know that they are dogs and in this capacity, they lack a certain control over their...brains. Whose to say what would happen in the instance that the pets see a squirrel, a bird, or another idiot driving with his dog on his lap and start pawing around in the reproductive area? Now the guy who I often see driving around with his golden retriever in the passenger seat wearing sunglasses - that guy and his dog are just awesome and always make me smile, but this literal lap dog while driving thing is not kosher.

I don't have much to add beyond this obvious thought, but I imagine the people driving in this situation are the same kind of people who love Paul Blart.