Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The #1 Rule

According to local news sources, this morning at around 6am, four women in Detroit tried to engage in the time-tested ritual of eating your food at a restaurant (or whatever you may call an IHOP - no offense to IHOP but I'm just not sure it classifies as restaurant) and then opting to quickly leave the food establishment without paying for the food. This is where these four women forgot the number one rule of successful stealing of anything:

Rule #1 - Don't crash your car into the side of the building that you just stole from
Rule #2 - See Rule #1

There are many other important stealing rules, but this is quite possibly the most important. It makes the so-called getaway less of a getaway and more of a "crash your car into the side of the building that you just stole from." On top of this, the women in the car got out and fled on foot before two of them decided to return to the scene of the crime to admit the error of their ways. This breaks rule #3 of stealing:

Rule #3 - If you happen to break Rules #1 and #2, don't run away and then return to the scene with the building still impaled by your car to admit your misdeeds

Detroit has its fair share of crime, but on the plus side, the criminals appear to be less effective in their basic efforts. It would be my genuine pleasure to pay someone 100% of the revenue I've generated from this website if I could acquire exclusive video of this incident.

1 comment:

Daniel J. said...

I'll find the video maybe, but for free. Oh wait, I'm guessing 100% of the website revenue was 0.00 pounds (At least that's not as bad as dollars, federal reserve notes, either way it's all Fiat currency that will end very soon). Your rules rule by the way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_KMccodwqI&NR=1 I think this is it, but there is no live camera of it unless they release the surveillance eventually.