Friday, February 19, 2010

From the Department of Forbes' Douches

For the third year in a row, Forbes publishes its list of "10 Most Miserable Cities in America". First let's get the first Forbes bashing out of the way and say that in two years' time Forbes will be entirely irrelevant as it will have declared liquidation-style bankruptcy as print media continues its march into irrelevance and struggles to find profit in the transition to web-based news and media. To try to cling to some small corner of the public consciousness, they go about a few times a year inventing lists that help them ignore their own failings by highlighting the flaws of other places. The quality of their lists and metrics can be shown to be false nearly quantitatively, as I will address shortly. So for the second year in a row, I say screw you Forbes.

In the first year, Detroit ranked number one on the miserableness scale. Last year, Detroit was number 7, and this year we've fought our way back up the list to number 4 - trailing Cleveland, Stockton, and Memphis (and while we're not number one, this doesn't stop some websites from showing a picture of downtown Detroit as an introduction to their slideshow). Screw you as well,

This year I want to take issue with one particular element of the list to which a writer for The Detroit News drew my attention and automatically throws into question the validity of every single measure that forms the miserable index. Detroit (the metro area) ranked as having the 2nd worst commute in the entire country. Are you kidding me? How the hell can anyone get off saying that we have worse traffic than Chicago or LA? You can't drive through Chicago anytime from 12:01 AM Sunday morning through 11:59 PM Saturday night without being caught in an hours-long traffic jam. There isn't even an argument here, so it's obvious to say that Forbes is wrong at least on this point, and if you disagree, you are a moron. Yes, you.

My favorite line from The News' article is from some guy named Dennis Zitny. He couldn't have put it more clearly or concisely:

"'I find that study not to be relevant to my lifestyle and most of the people in the state, so I reject it.'"

It's not possible to say it better, except maybe if at the end he added "...and the people at Forbes are a bunch of douchebags. Screw you Forbes."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi. I was quoted for that News article--it was the only printable phrase I could utter when Tom Greenwood told me about the study.

Keep up the good work supporting our region.