More Screw You Kwame

Did you notice the solar eclipse today? If you did, it was Kwame's balls blocking the sun as they swelled and swelled and swelled (much like the Grinch's heart grew) from another of his many outrageous acts. Today, he requested that his restitution to the city of Detroit be cut from $6,000/month to $6/month. That is not a typo. Kwame's camp requested that he have to pay one-one thousandth of what he owes. His lawyers were late getting to the courtroom because driving around Kwame's balls added an additional 4 hours to their trip.

Fortunately for everyone who loves truth and justice and hates Kwame Kilpatrick, the appellate court denied his bid because of "lack of merit" and (I'm making up this paraphrase) additional cost of sewer repairs necessary from the devastation of the weight of Kwame's balls.

His lawyer cautioned that we do not make assumptions about Kwame's financial situation because of his Cadillac Escalade and the million dollar+ mansion he lives in in Texas, and I agree. We should not make assumptions about his financial situation - we should hate him regardless of his net worth. It doesn't matter if he eats out of a trash can or only on caviar spoons or out of the trash using caviar spoons, our spite and anger must be boundless and parsed out in perpetuity.