Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Too Freaking Sensitive

On December 21st after the Lions lost to New Orleans (it was ugly), a local sports columnist and TV and radio broadcaster did something very funny. His name is Rob Parker, and after the game during the standard press conference he asked former Lions' coach Rod Marinelli "do you wish your daughter had married a better defensive coordinator?" You see, Jon Barry, the Lion's defensive coordinator, is married to Rod's daughter. The defense has been coordinated incredibly well over the past three years...coordinated FOR SUCKING. HAhahahaha. You're jealous of my wit.

Almost every aspect of the Lions has been disgusting for the better part of a decade now, but the defense in particular has stood out for it's shamefulness during Jon Barry's run at coordinator. It is not a stretch to assume that there was some small quantity of nepotism involved in both the hiring of Jon Barry and the subsequent inability to let him go despite the screaming reasons for such an action. Some very ballsy people are capable of firing friends and family, but the majority of us don't have that strength.

This question from Rob Parker to Rod Marinelli opened up a storm of negative publicity for both Parker and The Detroit News. Rod Marinelli decried the question itself claiming it was a personal attack on him and his family, and when Parker tried to apologize for his error, Marinelli maturely "refused" the apology. The brilliant Terry Bradshaw called Parker a "total idiot" on national Fox coverage of NFL football and then proceeded to stick his head into a Shine-O-Ball-O for his weekly head-shine maintenance.

When, exactly, did the whole entire world forget how to take a joke?

Because of the repercussions of this incredibly inoffensive question placed for maximum levity during another football season of sadness ("a failure pile in a sadness bowl"), Rob Parker has "resigned" from The Detroit News. Of course, we all know that "resigned" means kicked in the balls and then when you're hunched over they push you onto a wheelbarrow and shove you out of the door. With the way the world is now, I am absolutely shocked that anyone found offense with such a silly and stupid question and that it resulted in national attention and the ball-kick wheelbarrow shove of an individual.

Warning: Swears Live Herein

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