Friday, January 9, 2009

The Great and True Story of Colin

Several weeks ago, my friend Katie celebrated her birthday. We started out the evening with some ZapZone lazer tag, and finished the night out with some cake, food, and games. One of the games we played was Boggle, at which point I found out that one of the party attendees, named Colin, is an international Boggle champion. No kidding. In a room full of about 10 people, the Boggle match was 9 vs. Colin. It's hard to keep score in a game of 9 vs. 1, but Colin either won or barely lost. That doesn't matter, but was fascinating to me was that one person could beat an entire room full of people at Boggle. I like to think of myself as a bit of a wordsmith, but I was shamed by this Boggle evening. I found out that Colin was born and raised in Ann Arbor, and as such, I requested he write up his biography for me to post on my blog. The timing works great because tomorrow, Saturday, marks the very real third annual event called ColinFest, created and organized by Colin - a celebration of food, games, prizes, Colin, and more Colin. I urge you to read all about Colin, star of ColinFest. With respect to length, he went a little ape-padoodle, but that is why people who love Colin love Colin. Our Boggle player will beat your Boggle player. Here it is:

In Ann Arbor, Michigan in the fall of 1979, Devin John McIntyre was born. Four and a half year’s later, Devin’s younger brother, Colin James McIntyre was born. Colin often followed in his brother’s shadow. For example, both boys played soccer and baseball until it became apparent (at around age 10), that neither was very good. Having realized their full potential in real sports, each turned to other activities. Devin excelled academically and graciously defeated Colin in nearly every activity (all athletics, most board games, etc.) Colin continued to hone his skills and developed a hunger for the ever elusive victory.

The McIntyre family played Boggle with some regularity. Colin eventually became competitive and overtook his parents and sibling at the age of 10. This was the beginning of his success. For the next seven years, Colin carefully honed his skills, winning a giant alligator at a ring toss carnival game, becoming a decorated horseman and developing a deep admiration for Zorro. In 2001, Colin organized and won the first and last Pioneer Boggle Tournament at Ann Arbor Pioneer High School. During that same academic year, Colin won a state championship in tennis, became a National Merit Finalist, contributed to the creation of a nine hole disc golf course at the school, began playing Ultimate Frisbee, won the “wacky wire” carnival game at Cedar Pointe (earned giant Scooby Doo) and recorded the first volume of his life’s goals.

Since graduating high school in 2002, Colin’s achievements have come in an avalanche. Actually, very little happened from 2002-2004 and so much has happened since then that it would be impossible to describe it all in a single blog entry. Perhaps a bullet point list of awards and momentous events will be best.

• Considered joining Fencing Team. Quit because footwork is boring.
• Cut from the Michigan Ultimate team
• Purchased 102 frisbees with his face printed on them
• Recorded volume two of his life’s goals.
• Created and hosted the first annual Pedal for a Medal Regatta (pedal boat race)

• Horrific bike accident in late October. Miraculously, hardly suffered a scratch on his entire body, except the left side of his face, which was totally wrecked (scraped, broken, etc.)
• Sported a fantastic Two Face costume for Halloween, complete with bloody eye.
• Received over 60 competitive dance trophies in recognition of his timely winning bid on Ebay.
• Neutral Zone Taboo Champion (won $100 in tournament against high schoolers, hosted by local teen hangout).
• SuperMarioKart Showdown Champion
• Fewest Screws Loose Award recipient. Screwed 100 nuts onto 100 bolts fastest.
• Accepted Jonathan Brodhag’s boggle challenge. Defeated Jonathan and awarded him a trophy reading “Colin Beat Me in Boggle and Is More Attractive Than I Am.”
• Beat Sam Cohen in a Bit (5x5) Boggle game to 50, spotting him 49 points.
• College Division Pedal Boat Champion.
• Won a handful of ultimate tournaments.
• Colin McIntyre Highlight Video (Ultimate) created by dedicated fan.
• Ordered 200 more Frisbees with an upgraded likeness of himself, having grown tired of hurtful comments received about the attractiveness of the image on the first edition.
• Met Mr. Henry Winkler at the Philadelphia airport. Mr. Winkler signed a Frisbee for Colin, writing “Stay Cool, --Henry Winkler.” Thus, the coolest of the cool implied that Colin was already cool, which made it necessary to remain cool. Mr. Winkler also graciously accepted a Colin-Face Frisbee as a gift, but insisted that Colin hand-sign it.

• Won some more Ultimate tournaments and awards.
• Hosted first annual Colinfest.
• Hosted Card Sharp Shooter playing card-throwing competition.
• Won the Pedal for a Medal Regatta, which was sponsored by Red Bull.
• Admitted to Law School despite mediocre grades and late applications.
• Graduated college. Began Law School at University of Minnesota.

• Continued Law School.
• Played Ultimate for Minnesota. Won another award and some more tournaments. Joined the Standing Rules Committee. Defeated Michigan, won a bet, cupcaked former teammates.
• Transferred to University of Michigan Law School.
• Joined Michigan Fencing Team. Quickly became one of the best not-very-good fencers in the area.

• Hosted second annual Colinfest. Bigger and better than ever. T-shirts, temporary tattoos, cookies and cakes with his likeness. Defeated teams of five in Boggle. Undefeated in Connect Four.
• International Boggle Champion. Traveled to Waterloo, Ontario and won the Project Read Literacy Agency Bogglemania tournament, earning a $500 shopping spree.
• Won a cornhole tournament.
• The Caking. Caking + Tandem Bike + Video. (Youtube search “the caking”)
• Paid $50 to E-bay Seller.
• Received 68 pounds of kart racing trophies, presumably in delayed recognition of his 2005 SuperMarioKart Showdown performance.

Plans for 2009
• Participate in World Flying Disc Federation Overall Championships
• Tour the country’s best ice cream shops. Also tour the country’s carnivals and amusement parks, winning giant stuffed animals.
• Third Annual Colinfest, bigger and better than ever.
• Complete personal challenge series versus Will Neff and Ryan Purcell (planning for ~2 years)
• Win 6th Annual Pedal For A Medal Regatta.
• Graduate Law School, pass bar, start job.
• Create a bronze bust of self (thereby completing one life’s goal)
• Buy 100 more Frisbees.


Tank said...

items that have been seen at ColinFest:

- Shirt with colin's face on it
- Cake with colin's face on it
- Cookies "" ""
- Frisbees "" ""
- Temporary Tattoos "" ""
i think you get the point....

ColinFest 2008 -- bigger, badder, and more Coliner

Dan A. said...

Tell me more about Colinfest.

Ken said...

This is going to be my first official ColinFest, but I believe it has something to do with Colin and general celebration of him. Perhaps Craig, Colin, or others who have attended previously could share more information. I plan on sharing my experiences when the weekend is done.

Gail said...

Did I miss the Colinfest day review? Did you and a team play Boggle against Colin a couple years ago too?