Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Prison is for Dangerous People

A couple weeks ago when Kwame was sentenced to prison, a million fairies got their wings. However, at the time, I opted to not make my feelings known because I have admittedly directed too much thought and space to the worst person in the world. Without even being fully aware of the reason why, the world has been in balance for the last two weeks. Dessert tastes a little bit sweeter, the air feels a little crisper, and I think we all felt just a little bit thinner. What more could a spiteful young man ask for?

Now, just two weeks after this fantastic prison sentence, the Michigan Department of Corrections is recommending Kwame have the opportunity to get out of prison in just 90 days. More than that, he wouldn't even exactly be in prison for the next 90 days - he would be in some sort of prison "boot camp" for 90 days and if he "successfully" completes this boot camp program then he will be on his fat way with parole. A few questions: 1) what the hell? 2) what the hell is prison boot camp? 3) what the hell is a successful completion of boot camp? 4) what the hell?

The Free Press article about this debacle states "Schwartz [Kwame's defense attorney] said prison is for dangerous people, and Kilpatrick is not dangerous." I agree with 50% of Schwartz's statement. Prison is definitely for dangerous people, and no one is more dangerous to the state of Michigan than Kwame. Every day that he is not in prison he could go around sleeping with people that aren't his wife and sucking out southeast Michigan's willingness to live. Mass depression inducing is dangerous, and no one can dole that out better than this guy.

This whole thing seems ridiculous. First, the former mayor went to jail and was released under a set of conditions the world knows and loves as parole. He decided that he did not respect or appreciate these conditions, so per the social and legal contract to which the world adheres, he was sent back to prison for violating parole. Now, he can go to boot camp and get another chance to screw up? And trust me, he will screw up again. If he does get out of prison again earlier than his sentence defines, his parole should consist of 18 hour days of cleaning up the Gulf of Mexico.

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