Sunday, October 4, 2009

Tangential Marriage Benefit

So far, being married seems quite similar to being not married - except now I have the privilege to live with Maureen and we get to spend more time together. The marriage can and likely will evolve over the next weeks and months, but many things are largely the same for now. It could be that we had dated for quite awhile before we actually got married so there weren't any of those married "surprises" you hear about, I'm not sure, but I'm looking forward to whatever the future brings.

I have, however, identified one major unanticipated benefit of marriage over the past month. Mostly this is a benefit because I am a gigantic sissy, but it is a benefit nonetheless. This has to do with various people offering me things I do not want, and how I can now, guilt free, respond to these people.

"I'm sorry I have to talk it over with my wife first."

This has nothing to do with who makes the decisions or the ability of one or the either of us to unilaterally choose something, it is simply an excuse for me to slink out of an uncomfortable sales pitch. If the person offering the deal pushes a little bit harder, I can go to plan A-2:

"I understand this is a fantastic offer, but I'm a newlywed and I can't do anything to get myself into trouble this early in the marriage." And with that, my nemesis understands that he is defeated and lets me go. If you have no problem lying, I recommend this approach to dismissing all telemarketers. If you really, really hate saying no to people, consider getting married to someone you meet on the street for this benefit. Could getting married really be worse than paying for HBO that you don't really want?

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