Antioxidants!

According to this article from Time, Michigan is the nation's number one grower of blueberries. Congratulations Michigan! Of course, Time is just jumping on the bandwagon from my award-winning post On Blueberries that I wrote back on August 13rd. Award-winning is not exactly an accurate statement in that it is not at all accurate. Of course, this article focuses more on the fact that one of the Michigan farms that grows our nation-leading blueberries utilized some variety of illegal migrant and child labor, but that's not that important when you consider all of those delicious balls of blue (hehe) our state produces. If children are required to lead the nation in this category of blueberry production, I'm all for it (for the purposes of any future political career, this is where I must unfortunately say that I am against child labor because of humor shortages across the land).

Here's why I think it's OK that children are picking our blueberries - the antioxidants. I know that when I was younger (and less younger as in today), it was absolutely impossible to work with food without eating mass quantities of that food. As a result, you end up with a bunch of children who are probably cramming their faces with blueberries in the hopes of turning into that girl who turns into a blueberry in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And what comes with all of those blueberry-stuffed faces? Antioxidants and whatever antioxidants may or may not provide in terms of positive health effects (people claim they help with cancer and coronary heart disease - help meaning the reverse of help in this situation). If anything, we should put more children to work in fruit and vegetable fields. In Michigan, we can parlay our blueberry leadership into leading the world into a future of a cancer-immune human through illegal child labor.