As Dumberer as Everer

For a period during my life, I was consumed with calorie count. I could account for every single calorie in a day excluding food that I accidentally ingested (happens more often than you would think). During this period I lost something like 50 total pounds and life was without joy and happiness. There is still some mental holdover from this time of life and I remember the calorie count of most commercially available food items. That is why I sometimes find myself at Wendy's when I'm looking for a fast and relatively healthy lunch or dinner. The Ultimate Chicken Grill meal swapping out a small chili for the french fries and a Diet Coke comes out to a total of only 560 calories (340 for the sandwich, 220 for the chili). For the health-conscious who also love fast food, this is a pretty amazing option. It feels only a little bit like you're restraining yourself from food happiness and the meal is decently filling for 560 calories.

For all these reasons, I found myself at Wendy's for lunch today. Waiting in line, a sign above the soda machine read something along the lines of "Due to the cold weather conditions in Florida, the quality and availability of tomatoes at Wendy's locations has suffered. Because of this, tomatoes will only be available UPON REQUEST." I read the sign, appreciated and understood the cause and effect, and felt bad for all those poor suckers who neglected to get tomatoes on their square hamburgers. Sandwiches are almost universally better with tomato. It's a fact of life and tomatoes.

I ordered my Ultimate Chicken Grill meal, grabbed a spoon for my chili, and sat down for sustenance. Unwrapping the foil around the sandwich, I pulled it open to add just a little salt (I said I was concerned about calories, not sodium. What are you, the salt police?). "Hey, where's my toma....oh crap." Despite having read the sign and eaten several hundred ultimate chicken grill sandwiches with tomatoes, I neglected to make the connection that my sandwich fell into the UPON REQUEST category clearly outlined by the sign. I haven't felt such indecision for weeks as I was torn between going up to the counter and asking for a rare, possibly low-quality tomato slice to manually add the tomato to my sandwich, or accept the shame and tomatolessness of my partial sandwich. In the end, I suffered through the results of my terrible thought process. Without suffering, there can be no progress.