Wocka Wocka (that's a reference to Fozzie Bear, you dummy)

There is a lot to be said about coming up with a good title. Sometimes titles are funny, sometimes they're clever, other times nuanced, and every once in awhile, you come across a title that is none of these things. This article title I saw earlier today is none of these things, but it is still a beautiful title.

Woman Accused of Hitting Levin's Face with Pie in Big Rapids

This one short phrase includes many of the things that I so very love in life - women, dessert (albeit pie, one of the worst kinds of dessert), Michigan, and things getting hit in the face (oh yeah, that's a throwback reference to more than 2 years ago). However, these things combined in the order in which they have been combined to make up the story frustrate me, because a woman threw a pie into the face of one of our state Senators. Like....why would you throw a pie into someone's face? Wait, don't answer that, because if you do have an answer for that, you should still have the wherewithal to not follow through on that reason and therefore not throw a pie in someone's face. The only time dessert should be flung about with such reckless abandon is celebration throwing, like "hey you don't have herpes let me throw this brownie in your face" or "the Lego you accidentally ate will pass through without harm enjoy this vanilla custard - IN YOUR FACE." You get the idea.

Imagine if you were just doing your job, regular day with a set of regular tasks, and some turdbucket decides that she is unhappy with your effort, bakes (or perhaps if she's less committed purchases from Bakers Square) a pie, and then throws that pie in your face! I don't think anything could be more confusing - "Did you just throw a pie at me?" (who throws a shoe??) That would be entirely uncool, and I think no one deserves this outcome unless they intentionally enter into a profession where crust is a known work hazard. Well, I hope this MSU student knows that she has opened the floodgates on my willingness to throw pie in her face if I ever encounter her. Turnabout is fair play.